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Embarrassment

by Bear Bong

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1.
I have seen your scorn and uncertainty, there's a fire burning in your eyes But a reason has yet to be found, no source of ignition to be seen So tortured by self loathing and feelings of inadequacy The only option is to externalize on an unaware victim of circumstance Sweet to lure Bitter to keep
2.
Stale 01:31
Redefining who I am as a human being by a subtle altering of facts So thoroughly convinced the world beyond the horizon is only scaped with death As far as I knew my only option was a stale and constant misery, Clearly tinged by the conspirator's own pain and suffering The light I knew was not the light that could be seen by open eyes Years spent under the thumb of someone smaller than myself An attempt to escape, an opportunity to be the victim Roles reversed, it's for the best, I'll show myself out
3.
4.
Fool's Gold 01:47
Bearing the fire, a shining light upon the hill Hoping to draw moths closer to your binding flame A gleaming beacon bringing the lost to your heal But all they find is self serving interests Something so scarce, knowing one's actions will only service themselves A righteous facade proudly displayed on your sleeve in view of all Unaware of your trespass, my heart free of guilt Disguising self preservation as an act of grace A staving beast among the herd feeding thoughtlessly with no regret Sparing itself of shame and grief, only mindful of it's own well being Though the heart's candle still holds flame it always warm the one closest first And those seeking the remaining warmth only find blessings from spare remnants Unspoken motivations, driven to endure and belong Hiding true intentions, a selfless spirit displayed Deceiving the whole, now exempt from your share of blame
5.
Proudly wear your poise Why wouldn't you? Your accolades shine so bright and bold And from up top everyone seems so small Nothing left for them but pity and loathing But I don't want to hear it I've seen it all before Vanity is a worn cheap mask Weak like the rest You're wearing down We now better than to follow your lead When behind the throne is a self exalting king And when the marvel cracks and all your statues fall All you'll have left is disgrace and recall
6.
I bore coldness as a coat, The layers on my hide bring me comfort But when the mold grows heavy and old, The skin must be exchanged for peace of mind Void of heart the shell holds strong as iron Must rebuild, must remake with assurance I'd rather fall prey to the wolf in sheep skin Than be the first to bear the fang and claw Gather pieces forging a new salting the earth and removing the roots Twisted overgrowth can only be cut out, but a fertile pulp will take it's place Wide eyes gleam and open again, the husk and hull no longer remain A welcomed return to an exposed core, my world no longer clad in armor.
7.
Preconceived notions pulling from both directions Logical conclusions are doomed from the start There's no combating bias in the newest flavor of the week Opinions permanently tethered to a predetermined thought process Mindlessly regurgitating their respective hero's words Spewing knee-jerk reactions and damning those that don't. Rampant racism, hail the thoughtless Ill advised acceptance, chastise the rational Authoritative worship, hail the thoughtless Misplaced anger, chastise the rational
8.
Eyes rain heavily as this rift in love grows with every passing moment The palpable feeling of loneliness radiates throughout the room Even while being surrounded by these four walls of one way mirrors An incomprehensible and mystifying spectacle for the outsiders looking in So unaware of the fear and apprehension that your congregation harbors As time passes fearfulness and affection culminate into indifference and detachment from this dreadful scene What at one time weighed heavy on their hearts must be shed for the sake of their own ease of mind and health With each that leaves the glass grows thicker and more substantial The last of the crowd makes their exit Cycle complete, only to be repeated

credits

released April 19, 2017

All music and lyrics written by Bear Bong.

All tracking, mixing and mastering done by Michael Belliveau at Niche Recordings.

www.facebook.com/nicherecordings/

Album art by Carlos Cardenas at Half Jaw Designs.

www.facebook.com/halfjawdesigns

Special thanks to Quinn Renz of Bad Vibes for the noise section of Sweet To Lure.

www.facebook.com/vibezbad/

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Bear Bong Tinley Park, Illinois

No Coast Bullshit from the south suburbs of Chicago.

www.facebook.com/bearbongil/

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